On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

It’s October 3rd.

👚

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Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? You don’t have a choice. Dress Code: You may not attend this small get-together in a tank top if you wore one yesterday. Same goes for your ponytail (looking at you man-bun). Since October 3rd falls on a Thursday this year, please refrain from wearing pink, track pants, and jeans or else YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!! 

If you love Danny DeVito’s work; if you’re too gay to function; if you’ve been personally victimized by Regina George; if you made out with a hot dog ONE TIME, then this is the night for you!

Party starts at 7 and goes til it’s October 4th

$10 cover (and also tip your performers. The limit does not exist!)

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The Plastics:
BRITTANY MARIE (grotsky little byotch)

HANNAH PARKE (a sad old drug pusher)

HILARY YVETTE (cool mom)

LEXI SCHREIBER (thinks she’s really pretty)

CAITLIN BRIDGET (doesn’t even go here)

LA DOLCE SPINA (dyke)

PATTI LUSTONED (her hair is full of secrets)

TOM & SARA (made out with Coach Carr)

ZACH KING (has a heavy flow and a wide set vagina)

BLAKE LOWRY (john stamos said she was pretty)

JENNY HENNY (her breasts can tell when it’s raining)

OPHELIA (got pregnant and died)

Crack